Before I start with this review I want to ask the band something. What did you guys smoke when writing these songs????? It was clearly some potent shit, and I want some of it NOW! Okay? Thanks. Now on to the music...

Good God, where to start with this strange little three-tracker... Calling it ‘strange’ is actually a colossal understatement; this is some utterly weird, insane, mind-boggling progressive stuff, especially for 1988 standards. Yep, “It Was Predestined” was written at the tail-end of the 80s but... wait for it... only recorded and released in 2008! The obvious question is why a band, any band, would wait two decades before releasing a recording but once you get a chance to hear this shit does it becomes crystal clear – genius like this should be heard. Like the album title says – it was predestined! Judging by the cover art I was expecting some dodgy German Power Metal but what blared out of my speakers knocked me to the floor and pinned me down there for the entire duration. Trust me it is no fun headbanging on the floor. You end up fracturing your skull (along with a few tiles) and it looks like you’re having the mother of all seizures. Anyway, on to the music... For the second time...

Traversing just about every Metal sub-genre there is (save for Black and Gothic Metal), “It Was Predestined” may very well be one of the most diverse and multi-faceted things you’ve never heard. It’s like switching on your radio and flipping through every frequency available – you literally get a bit of everything on here. To sum up: the vocals vary between clean howls, moans, shrieks and growls, with the enunciation/vocal phrasing being reminiscent of Sean Killian (VIO-LENCE), while the growls sound a bit like Jon Tardy. The riffs straddle Thrash, Groove, Death, Power, Crossover, and Heavy Metal at various points. Flamenco-tinged acoustic flourishes make an appearance (beginning of “Arise”), folky SKYCLAD-isms can be found midway through “A Futile Crusade”, while the title track is a great amalgamation of Death and Crossover tempos and ideas. On top of all of this some female vocals and Luca Turilli-like neo-classical solos also pop up for good measure. Confused yet? Intrigued yet? You should be little man, you darn well should be.

I can only imagine the tidal waves this EP would’ve created if released back in ’88, because there really wasn’t anything quite this diverse and zany (fragmented?) back then. Based on this EP I have no doubt this band would have been one of the trail-blazing progressive bands of the day but seeing as how they took an unprecedented 20 years to finally unleash their metal madness on Joe Public I guess they’ll just have to be tucked away in that ‘could have been’ category. A true cult release, if you ask me.

Bottom line: Musical ADD never sounded this good before!!  

(Online February 16, 2009)